You Know You Are Croatian When...
Haha, hittade denna på engelska och skrattar lika mycket varje gång jag läser den.
* You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name.
* When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata (pappa) to send you u pizdu materinu.
* The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable-unless it is Croatian.
* Whenever your parents said vidit cemo (vi får se) you knew that it meant "NO!".
* Your co-workers know the history of Croatia.
* Your Dida (morfar/farfar) has a shot of rakija (starksprit) for breakfast.
* Baba (mormor/farmor) and Dida (morfar/farfar) wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons.
* Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone before you and wears only name brand clothing.
* Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikanac (amerikan).
* You were still in elementary school the first time you got drunk.
* Your parents were at the function where you got drunk.
* At your wedding the first song is always "Danas majka zeni svoga sina" (Idag gifter mor bort sin son).
* At least one of your friends is named "Ante".
* You're a Croatian girl who tries to look 23 but is actually 12.
* Your tata (pappa) wears dress socks with tennis shoes.
* You live with your parents until you are married.
* You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland.
* You've been to Hrvatska (Kroatien)every summer since your were 5.
* Your have at least one picture of the Gospa (ett helgon) on your walls.
* Your parents still prefer to buy cassettes instead of CDs.
* Everyone is sure that you're Italian or Greek.
* Soccer, tennis, basketball, skiing, and even handball are required viewing when Hrvatska (Kroatien) is playing.
* At parent teacher interviews, your parents told the teacher to hit you if you didn't behave.
* Baba (mormor/farmor)swears more than you do.
* You can hear tata (pappa) snoring from across the street.
* Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5km uphill both ways, and over rocks .
* You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (drag)(even in the middle of summer).
* Your mama (mamma) makes you put on slape (tofflor) because walking around barefooted will make you get sick.
* Mama (mamma) thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough.
* All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient "Vegeta".
* Everything you eat is savored in garlic and onions.
* On Christmas Eve you eat only fish.
* A week after every Christmas and Easter you are still eating sarma (fyllda paprikor) and janjetina (lamm).
* Lunch on Sunday has more courses than Amerikanci (amerikaner) have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.
* Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand.
* Your parents force people to eat when they come over. If they refuse, they will ask them 15 more times until they concede.
* When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same warnings (regardless of age): "Pazi sta radis", "Pamet u glavi", "Nemoj me sramotit", "Nemoj da sta cujem."
* Sadly, if something actually does happen, somehow Mama will know before you make it home.
* There are a few 120-gallon barrels of wine and some cabbage in your garage.
* At holidays you're encouraged to do shots of rakija (brännvin) with your family (age is not an issue here).
* Rakija (brännvin) is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions, and as a massage lotion.
* At least one family member makes his own wine.
* Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
* Your parents turn the channel when there is a kissing scene.
* You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from Mama and Tata as you were growing up.
* No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a nickname for it.
......You're still laughing your ass off cause u know every single one of these are true!
* You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name.
* When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata (pappa) to send you u pizdu materinu.
* The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable-unless it is Croatian.
* Whenever your parents said vidit cemo (vi får se) you knew that it meant "NO!".
* Your co-workers know the history of Croatia.
* Your Dida (morfar/farfar) has a shot of rakija (starksprit) for breakfast.
* Baba (mormor/farmor) and Dida (morfar/farfar) wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons.
* Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone before you and wears only name brand clothing.
* Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikanac (amerikan).
* You were still in elementary school the first time you got drunk.
* Your parents were at the function where you got drunk.
* At your wedding the first song is always "Danas majka zeni svoga sina" (Idag gifter mor bort sin son).
* At least one of your friends is named "Ante".
* You're a Croatian girl who tries to look 23 but is actually 12.
* Your tata (pappa) wears dress socks with tennis shoes.
* You live with your parents until you are married.
* You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland.
* You've been to Hrvatska (Kroatien)every summer since your were 5.
* Your have at least one picture of the Gospa (ett helgon) on your walls.
* Your parents still prefer to buy cassettes instead of CDs.
* Everyone is sure that you're Italian or Greek.
* Soccer, tennis, basketball, skiing, and even handball are required viewing when Hrvatska (Kroatien) is playing.
* At parent teacher interviews, your parents told the teacher to hit you if you didn't behave.
* Baba (mormor/farmor)swears more than you do.
* You can hear tata (pappa) snoring from across the street.
* Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5km uphill both ways, and over rocks .
* You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (drag)(even in the middle of summer).
* Your mama (mamma) makes you put on slape (tofflor) because walking around barefooted will make you get sick.
* Mama (mamma) thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough.
* All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient "Vegeta".
* Everything you eat is savored in garlic and onions.
* On Christmas Eve you eat only fish.
* A week after every Christmas and Easter you are still eating sarma (fyllda paprikor) and janjetina (lamm).
* Lunch on Sunday has more courses than Amerikanci (amerikaner) have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.
* Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand.
* Your parents force people to eat when they come over. If they refuse, they will ask them 15 more times until they concede.
* When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same warnings (regardless of age): "Pazi sta radis", "Pamet u glavi", "Nemoj me sramotit", "Nemoj da sta cujem."
* Sadly, if something actually does happen, somehow Mama will know before you make it home.
* There are a few 120-gallon barrels of wine and some cabbage in your garage.
* At holidays you're encouraged to do shots of rakija (brännvin) with your family (age is not an issue here).
* Rakija (brännvin) is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions, and as a massage lotion.
* At least one family member makes his own wine.
* Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
* Your parents turn the channel when there is a kissing scene.
* You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from Mama and Tata as you were growing up.
* No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a nickname for it.
......You're still laughing your ass off cause u know every single one of these are true!
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